Chicago pit bull attack

Another Chicago pit bull attack

Yesterday, a Chicago pit bull attack left a 62-year-old jogger in critical condition on the South Side. Ironically the brutal attack took place at one of Chicago’s happiest-named parks, Rainbow Beach. With a name like Rainbow Beach Park, it seems like it should be filled with rainbows and flowers, not bloodthirsty pit bulls.

The Chicago Tribune said that “a neighbor ran to Finley’s aid but could not fight off the dogs with a baseball bat.” What the hell kind of dogs are these? Seems like pack of rabid mountain lions would make a better pet than these couple of pit bulls.

Either way, it was a hot news story for the week and I’m working on a couple of movie ideas for it if anyone wants to help me storyboard. I’m thinking, ”Rainbow Beach: You Can Run But You Can’t Hide” or “The Beasts at Rainbow Beach”

It would be like a rated-R version of The Sandlot. Like if the kids are all grown up and one of them decides to go for a jog. I’ll admit it won’t be the most exciting followup, but are sequels ever any good anyway?

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We’ve moved! check out the new

Hope everyone had a happy and successful 2011 full of rants and raves. To sum it up, Chicago had a typical year of harsh weather and political corruption. The year started with a blizzard and ended with a media circus around our incarcerated governor. Here on the home front, Chicago Rants wrapped up the year with the top 5 Chicago photos from 2011. We also moved the site over to so if you’re still checking this site, you’re either too nostalgic or somehow digitally stumbled your way onto this blog. Either way, head over to the new site, subscribe by email, share your thoughts, follow ChicagoRanter on twitter, or whatever. Happy new year.

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We’ve moved! check out the new

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Chicago wins best bathrooms and worst airport

Based on on-time arrivals and departures, delay times, and security wait times, O’Hare airport weighed in at the country’s worst airport according to The Daily Beast’s annual report. Midway also ranked 7th worst in the country. But its not all bad news, Chicago, we can celebrate a victory thanks to “America’s Best Restroom Contest” where we cracked the top 10 thanks to the Field Museum.

If you’re a local you can check out the spectacle on one of the Chicago free museum days, but if you’re from out of town, it’s a $12 admission fee and a trip through the country’s worst airport.

On a side note: The Chicago Rants Blog will be moving to a new site! Hit the link, bookmark it, follow it, email subscribe it, or whatever-

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Photo: Sears Tower has its head in the clouds


Sears Tower skydeck turns into cloud deck.

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Pigeons, and why they’re so damn creepy

You know what creeps me out about pigeons?
They’re creepy.
And they’re everywhere.
And they think they’re all cool and shit.
Like they’re always walking in the middle of the street, and they sit on buildings, and they sleep in bridges. They’re essentially the homeless people of the bird world.
It’s depressing. At least seagulls have the decency to isolate their loitering to abandoned parking lots, but pigeons… they’re everywhere. Why can’t they just go chill in forests or trees like a normal bird? Like, have you ever seen a pigeon in a tree?
They are never within 100 feet of a tree. It’s like pigeons are completely unaware of the concept of trees and their relation to birds. They just wander the sidewalks in cities like people. It’s like they think they’re people.
But what if they are people?
Maybe that’s why pigeons are always in cities. Like, what if that’s what happens after we die? Our soul gets trapped in a pigeon. And with our avian reincarnation we go to the nearest city to try to tell people that we died and our soul is now trapped in the body a pigeon. Like, we’re all screaming, “HELP! I USED TO BE A PERSON AND THEN I DIED AND NOW I’M A PIGEON!” but the only thing that comes out is that retarded ‘cooo…coo’ noise pigeons make.
And eventually we give up and just accept our new life as a pigeon on the streets.  And instead of spare change we ask for breadcrumbs and crackers. And everyone just looks down and away and mumbles, “no, sorry, I don’t have anything,” and we’re all like, “ok thanks anyway, well, god bless you.”

Damn. Being a pigeon is gonna suck.

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Grilled cheese with bacon: Chicago restaurants

Cheesie's chicago

There’s also grilled cheese with jalapeño and cream cheese, and one with marinated chicken breast, and even one stuffed with just mac n’ cheese. It’s every kindergartner’s ideal lunch spot- it’s a restaurant that specializes in grilled cheese.

Cheesie’s would be a perfect snack spot, but the sandwiches are pretty stacked, which makes it a good lunch spot, and they also serve beer, which makes it a solid drunk spot. Just steps from the Belmont redline station, the location isn’t too bad either.

Lakeview’s new(ish) Chicago restaurant has 7 grilled-cheese-based items on the menu (plus sides). I had “The Tradicion” and I have to say, for an American food place, the chorizo was on par with your standard taco joint. But then again it’s pretty hard to mess up chorizo. The seasoned fries were pretty good, but had to be ordered as a side. A lot of people complain about the long wait that comes from the weekend nightlife in the area, but on a weekday afternoon, the place was pretty empty and the food was brought to our table within 10 minutes.

To sum up: Cheesie’s is not a bad spot, but for 6 bucks, a grilled cheese should come with some fries.

"The Tradicion"

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Chicago Fact: the last time Lake Michigan froze over completely was 1979. image-

Lake Michigan frozen over

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Chicago drivers and cellphone tickets

So the Redeye recently had an article stating that the police are finally starting to crack down on drivers that talk on their cell phones while driving... Not that its going to stop anyone though.

What you do:






What it looks like to everyone else:

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Official Chicago Neighborhood map part III (South Side)

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