Another Chicago pit bull attack
Yesterday, a Chicago pit bull attack left a 62-year-old jogger in critical condition on the South Side. Ironically the brutal attack took place at one of Chicago’s happiest-named parks, Rainbow Beach. With a name like Rainbow Beach Park, it seems like it should be filled with rainbows and flowers, not bloodthirsty pit bulls.
The Chicago Tribune said that “a neighbor ran to Finley’s aid but could not fight off the dogs with a baseball bat.” What the hell kind of dogs are these? Seems like pack of rabid mountain lions would make a better pet than these couple of pit bulls.
Either way, it was a hot news story for the week and I’m working on a couple of movie ideas for it if anyone wants to help me storyboard. I’m thinking, ”Rainbow Beach: You Can Run But You Can’t Hide” or “The Beasts at Rainbow Beach”
It would be like a rated-R version of The Sandlot. Like if the kids are all grown up and one of them decides to go for a jog. I’ll admit it won’t be the most exciting followup, but are sequels ever any good anyway?
Hope everyone had a happy and successful 2011 full of rants and raves. To sum it up, Chicago had a typical year of harsh weather and political corruption. The year started with a blizzard and ended with a media circus around our incarcerated governor. Here on the home front, Chicago Rants wrapped up the year with the top 5 Chicago photos from 2011. We also moved the site over to chicagorants.com so if you’re still checking this site, you’re either too nostalgic or somehow digitally stumbled your way onto this blog. Either way, head over to the new site, subscribe by email, share your thoughts, follow ChicagoRanter on twitter, or whatever. Happy new year.
Sears Tower skydeck turns into cloud deck.
You know what creeps me out about pigeons?
And they’re everywhere.
And they think they’re all cool and shit.
Like they’re always walking in the middle of the street, and they sit on buildings, and they sleep in bridges. They’re essentially the homeless people of the bird world.
It’s depressing. At least seagulls have the decency to isolate their loitering to abandoned parking lots, but pigeons… they’re everywhere. Why can’t they just go chill in forests or trees like a normal bird? Like, have you ever seen a pigeon in a tree?
They are never within 100 feet of a tree. It’s like pigeons are completely unaware of the concept of trees and their relation to birds. They just wander the sidewalks in cities like people. It’s like they think they’re people.
But what if they are people?
Maybe that’s why pigeons are always in cities. Like, what if that’s what happens after we die? Our soul gets trapped in a pigeon. And with our avian reincarnation we go to the nearest city to try to tell people that we died and our soul is now trapped in the body a pigeon. Like, we’re all screaming, “HELP! I USED TO BE A PERSON AND THEN I DIED AND NOW I’M A PIGEON!” but the only thing that comes out is that retarded ‘cooo…coo’ noise pigeons make.
And eventually we give up and just accept our new life as a pigeon on the streets. And instead of spare change we ask for breadcrumbs and crackers. And everyone just looks down and away and mumbles, “no, sorry, I don’t have anything,” and we’re all like, “ok thanks anyway, well, god bless you.”
Damn. Being a pigeon is gonna suck.
So the Redeye recently had an article stating that the police are finally starting to crack down on drivers that talk on their cell phones while driving... Not that its going to stop anyone though.
What you do:
What it looks like to everyone else: